Happy Valentine’s Day to All My Hockey Wives!
Ode to the Hockey Wife
By Jasmine Finch
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner I started to think about all of the wonderful relationships I am so privileged to be part of. It was during this review that I came to an interesting realization; I am currently involved in same-sex polygamous relationships! Not only that, but I tend to get around and my husband is not only accepting, but encourages such relationships! Now before your mind wanders to the religious and political implications that such a statement might bring, I need to clarify a few things.
I am a happily married wife and mother of three boys. All three of my boys participate in Rep hockey. With three boys on three different teams traversing the wonderful province of Ontario from September to April my family is pretty consumed by the hockey culture. The one question that I get more than any other as a Mother these days is how do you do it? The sheer fact that my husband and I are out-numbered, and the logistics surrounding three teams, seems to have a number of people outside of the hockey community completely baffled. This is where my same-sex polygamous mates enter the picture!
I am extremely fortunate to have a number of women in my life that I refer to as my Hockey Wives. This group of women are wonderfully diverse and I am incredibly fortunate to have each one of them in my life! If you are not familiar with the term Hockey Wife I have compiled the following identifying factors:
Your Hockey Wife will be listed as an acceptable person for the school to release your child to, often listed before blood relatives.
Your Hockey Wife will happily and without question pick-up your child from school, cart said child’s stinky equipment, feed said child dinner or at minimum a snack, and then transport to the arena in time for practice.
Your Hockey Wife may or may not have been inside your house, but knows the interior of your vehicle down to the very last Tim Horton’s cup and crushed McDonald’s French fry.
You will have spent more time in hotel rooms with your Hockey Wife during the past hockey season then you have with your husband in the last decade.
You and your Hockey Wife will take turns watching the children swim at the hotel since no one really wants to sit in the hotbox that is referred to as poolside.
Your Hockey Wife will offer to make you a drink during down time spent at the hotel and will not expect anything when it is time for bed. Of course the odd spirit-induced “I wuv you.” is always acceptable.
You will have spent more time during long road trips discussing your children, work, parents, hockey or any other topic of value with your Hockey Wife than you have with anyone else.
Your Hockey Wife will always be willing to step-in when your required 50/50 duty conflicts with anything else going on in your busy life.
Your Hockey Wife will think nothing of providing your children with a quarter for those darn candy machines that fill the arenas, even after you have told your child you don’t have one for the 50th time!
Your Hockey Wife will be just as thrilled for your player’s accomplishments as you are!
Your Hockey Wife will be out of her seat with tears in her eyes right behind you the first time your player takes a hard hit into the boards.
Your Hockey Wife will update you with texts continually during games when commitments take you to other arenas or locations.
Your Hockey Wife will hug your player and help your spouse during tournaments when commitments take you to other arenas or locations.
Your Hockey Wife will be able to identify your player’s hockey bag and jersey number without your player being attached to it.
Your Hockey Wife will know what you take in your coffee or the fact that you hate coffee!
Your Hockey Wife, along with all of the Hockey Wives from the team, will keep an eye on all of the players at the arena like a group of smartly dressed shepherd’s with some pretty funny sheep.
Your Hockey Wife will understand when your child is tired and acts like a brat on the way home.
You will miss your Hockey Wife during the off season.
Your Hockey Wife will accompany you during bursts of energy for walking or other fitness at the arena.
And I am sure the list goes on!
This Valentine’s Day take a moment and recognize your Hockey Wife or Wives! I truly don’t know where I would be without mine!
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